Marriage is an opportunity for growth and learning. Nothing worth while is ever easy. It takes effort. Just because we live in a "through away" society is no reason to toss your marriage aside. Divorce is not the answer to marriages with troubles. Every relationship has challenges.
Below are four suggestions on how to stop a divorce to improve the odds of successfully avoiding divorce.
Perhaps the first for you to know is the perfect marriage does not exist. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone has faults. In any situation where there is interaction there is possibility of conflict. However, with understanding and consideration for each other those situations will always allow solutions and resolutions to rule supreme.
For the marriage to succeed, the couple must learn to deal with the rough patches and overcome their problems. People make mistakes, work with your partner and overcome the problems you face, and you'll realize "it is possible for me to save my marriage." Or better yet, you will be saying, "It is possible for us to save our marriage."
If you think the next relationship is going to be better, think again. Each combination will have its unique set of problems and maybe those problems will be worse than the problems you now own.
Good communication is vital for all relationships. No one can read anyone elses mind and they should not be expected to. I do not know any situation that cannot be resolved with honest communication. Speak up if something is troubling you. But be respectful and considerate when expressing your feelings.
I am old fashioned I guess. Today's marriage gurus tell us to compromise. There are no winners in compromises. Both parties lose. Both are giving up something and both feel cheated in the end.
Truth be known, more marriage are destroyed because of compromise than ever were through cooperation.
There must be a leader in every organization, be it a family or a corporation worth billions of dollars. Someone has to make the decisions. There cannot be two heads on the same donkey. Some "one" person has to make the decisions and then are carried out, without kicking and screaming all the way.
Discussions should be found in every part of the family unit. Two heads are as good or better than four or more single heads. Cooperation by definition is working together for the common good of all. If you truly want a happy marriage, cooperate. Work together. Run it like any other corporation, but do not do it in a cruel and ruthless way.
Big Hint. There is only one reason for trouble in any relationship, marriage or otherwise. In a word, "Selfishness". This thing, "selfishness is twin sister or brother to Pride. If they are allowed free reign in your relationship you can expect major Troubles. With a capitol "T". If you have ever sat through some divorce proceedings you saw both pride and selfishness at work.
For any relationship to work all partners have to be fully committed in saving the relationship. When you enter into a marital relationship it is time to burn the bridges and ships so there can be no turning back.
Working towards making things work takes 100% commitment and must be applied, "if I am ever to have a chance to save my marriage."
As I see it there is only one reason for divorce, one time physical abuse and/or long sustained emotional and psychological Abuse by either one. It is in these cases that divorce makes sense.
Out side of these cases, divorce is not the answer. Instead, you should work with your partner to solve the issues plaguing your marriage, and hopefully you will be able to say "I can save my marriage."
Common Causes of Divorce
Save Your Marriage
